As is often the case, technology is once again more advanced than our capabilities to handle it. This isn’t a new phenomenon. Think back to the difficulties we had figuring out how to program the VCR, or warm up some food in the microwave without scorching our mouth. It takes humans a while to catch up.And so it goes with some of the most modern technology. I’m speaking specifically of cell phones. And even more specifically of texting with those phones.We’re not having the same problems we had with the VCR though. We’ve been conditioned well enough that the technological aspects of the little computers we carry around in our pockets no longer intimidate us. Even if we don’t know how to operate them at first, they’re so intuitive now that we’re usually able to figure it out.No, the problems we have now are more serious. And since Emily Post has been dead for fifty-five years, someone needs to establish texting etiquette.Despite not actually having a cell phone of my own, I’ve nominated myself.Before we get started, let me make clear what I’m trying to do here. I’m establishing guidelines for actual physical limitations on when you should text.I don’t intend to answer the question of whether you should text that girl who dumped you ten years ago just to tell her that your current girlfriend is hotter than she is.Or whether you should text that dude who works in the same building as you, but to whom you’ve never actually spoken, except for saying “Thank you!” when he holds the door every morning.Or whether sending your mom a “Happy Mother’s Day!” text means you don’t have to call her.I leave these questions for you—or your therapist—to answer.So without further ado—and because, thanks to texting, most people won’t read anything more than a hundred words long—here’s what you should know about when not to text.
Don’t text while standing at a urinal. Add this to the list of things people shouldn’t have to be told. Your hands are in front of a piece of porcelain that’s probably covered in the urine of dozens of strangers, you’re standing in a pool of God-knows-what, and one false move and you’ve got a wet spot on yourself that’s sure to cause embarrassment.What part of that makes you think it’s a good idea to text?If you insist on doing so I hope you inadvertently take a picture of your junk and accidentally send it to your grandma, your boss, and your sixth grade science teacher. You deserve whatever happens next.Don’t text while ordering food. Look, Idiot, there’s no one in this world you want to be nicer to than the people who are making your food. I’d think you shouldn’t have to be told to have some respect and common courtesy, but maybe you do. And if you choose to ignore this piece of advice then I hope you get to play an interesting game of “What’s That in my Burger?”Don’t text while driving. I’ve got news for you, buddy, you can barely control that car when you have both eyes on the road and both hands on the wheel. Add in a miniature computer and not only are you no Jeff Gordon behind the wheel, you’re not even Geoffrey the Giraffe from Toys R Us.The only reason you think that you can do both is because you can’t see the other drivers on the road giving you the finger because you’re staring at your phone.Don't text while talking in person to someone else. This can be tricky, because sometimes it's perfectly acceptable. However, it can go very wrong, very quickly. If you like your phone and don't want to see it shattered on the ground, thrown in a lake, or shoved down your throat, best to give the person you're with your undivided attention. The risk is just too great. They'll let you know if it's okay to text.Don’t text while walking. If you’re out and about and you absolutely have to text, then step to the side and send your message. Granted, the chances of you getting hurt when you’re texting and walking are slim.Unless you’re walking near me.If you’re walking toward me and staring at your phone instead of watching where you’re going, I’m not going to move out of your way, and chances are you’re going to run into me. Unfortunately, I’ll see you coming and I’ll raise my elbows.And then I’ll laugh, LOL-style.PREVIOUS POST: My 'No Sweets March' SuccessIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: iPhone Release Day Enthusiasm+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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