Shaving is the pits. No, not the armpits, which is just one of the numerous body parts we crazy humans shave. The pits. As in the worst. It’s a waste of time, and if I could do away with that particular chore forever, I’d be ecstatic.I can’t do away with it though, so instead I’ll just complain about it.Most boys spend their pre-teen years longing for the day when they’ll have whiskers. It’s a sign of manhood, I suppose, although most boys who try to grow mustaches look more ridiculous than they do manly. Facial hair usually doesn’t decide to grow in the same place at the same rate at the same time, so most teenage boys who try to grow facial hair end up with a patchwork of hair that’s different lengths, thickness and color.Then at some point—and I’m not sure when—we begin shaving. And no matter how dumb we are with our half-assed, peach fuzz mustaches, we somehow become even dumber when we begin to shave.Is there any bigger waste of money in the personal hygiene business than shaving? (Okay, maybe men’s liquid body wash, but that’s a topic for a different post.)Go to the shaving aisle and look at the selections. Reusable razors with disposable cartridges have come to dominate the shaving world over the past couple of decades. And the companies who make them are like crack dealers. They give you the razor and one cartridge for ten bucks or so. “That doesn’t seem too expensive,” you think, so you buy the razor.Then they have you. There’s no going back.You can only use their particular cartridges on that razor, and they know it. So when it comes time to buy more cartridges you have no choice but to pay $35 for five cartridges. We’ve already spent the money for the razor, so they know we’ll pony up.And the worst part is, they’re making fools of us. Every few years they’ll come out with a new cartridge, for which a new razor is required. “The revolutionary five blade system provides the closest shave possible.” Yeah, until two years from now when they miraculously come out with a six blade system. Bastards.In the very first Saturday Night Live episode ever there’s a parody of a shaving commercial. The product they’re pitching? A razor with three blades! And they pitch it exactly how the razor companies pitched it twenty years later. The first blade grabs the whisker, the second blade cuts it, and the third blade cuts it again. Your face will be as smooth as a billiard ball they claim.The tagline? “The Triple-Trac. Because you’ll believe anything!”We’re such idiots.Shaving gel is another ripoff. The commercial for that should say, “We want you to pay three times as much for shaving gel as you do for shaving cream, because we know you’ll believe that it’s better for your face.” Then, at the end of the commercial they’d whisper, “We know you’re an idiot.”Men don’t have a monopoly on shaving idiocy though. Women somehow have been fooled into believing that they need a special razor as well. Something softer, more delicate, with a thicker handle, and if at all possible, pink.The only reason the world needs one razor for women and one razor for men is for the bottom line of the razor companies. They can sell twice as many razors and we’re none the wiser.Well the jig is up! We’re wiser now.So what to do? The best thing to do is not shave at all. But best is a relative term in this situation, and it’s entirely possible that the special lady or gentleman in your life won’t like that solution.So if shaving is a must, then I suggest going with the old school double-edged razors. I got one a couple of years ago and it works great. The razor is expensive—around $35—but the big shaving companies don’t make them, so you get to experience the feeling of stickin’ it to the man! Also, the blades are like $.50 a piece instead of ten or twelve times that amount.One warning though: you might accidentally cut yourself really bad and bleed out.By the way, if you like what you're reading here, you should like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes.You should subscribe to this blog, don't you think? That way you'll never forget to come back. Forgetting is bad. So why don't you just type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. I'm not going to send you a bunch of junk, and you can ditch me any time you want.