It’s Halloween and my kids prepared. They had their costumes, they did a trunk-or-treat run a couple of days earlier to practice for the big night, and the pumpkins were carved.But more than that they had a plan in place to combat the candy thievery they experienced last year. In case you missed it, I wrote last year about my penchant for stealing their Halloween candy stash. I have certain guidelines I follow when relieving them of their candy burden, but they’re ready for me this year.My oldest son is a faithful reader of this blog, and when he read my post about eating his candy last year, he was none too happy. In fact, he turned into a sort of candy loan shark, expecting me to pay him back double for the candy I ate. It didn’t take long for me to assuage him of that expectation, but he was relentless in his quest for justice.I ate a bag of pretzel M&M’s that belonged to him, and that made him particularly angry. I assured him that I’d replace the bag, and tried to convince him that by deferring his consumption of the M&M’s I was actually extending Halloween’s magic. He wasn’t buying it.Every couple of weeks for months he’d ask, “So, dad, where are those pretzel M&M’s you promised me?” But he never asked me when we were in a store that sold pretzel M&M’s, so his reimbursement took longer than he wanted. I settled with him a few months ago though, and I made sure to let him know that the bag I handed him was a direct replacement for the M&M’s I ate.A few weeks ago, when we were talking about Halloween costumes, he said something like, “I’ll be ready for you this year.” I asked him what he meant, and he said, “I’m going to make sure you don’t steal all of my candy again.”First of all, I didn’t steal all of his candy, or even most of it. One of my candy stealing rules is that I never take the last piece of anything. So if I don’t take the last piece of anything then I obviously can’t steal ALL of his candy.Also, I’m planning a self-imposed candy hiatus this year. I’ve been eating junk pretty much non-stop since last Halloween, and it turns out that that’s not a good idea. After some last-minute sweets-devouring this past weekend, I decided that Halloween is the perfect time to give the sweet tooth a well-deserved break.Still, my kids are smart to implement their own candy protection protocol. All three of my trick-or-treaters came up with their own defenses.My oldest son said that he’s going to cut a hole in the wall behind one of the posters in his room and stick his candy in there. He won’t tell me which poster, and he’ll know if I’ve been rummaging if any of his posters are disturbed. Not a bad plan, especially since he’s never seen The Shawshank Redemption and came up with it on his own.However, neither his mother nor I will react very well if he starts cutting holes in walls.My younger son said that he’s just going to give me all of his Tootsie Rolls in the hopes that he can appease me. Not a bad strategy. Tootsie Rolls are good, and since he has recently referred to them as “trash” he’s not losing anything. However, Tootsie Rolls are a gateway candy. Give me a Tootsie Roll and it won’t be long before I’ll be jonesing for a Snickers or a Kit Kat.My daughter has perhaps the most-loving, but also least-foolproof plan. “You have to ask me before you take my candy,” she said. “Don’t just take it. You have to ask.”I assume she wants me to ask so she can have veto power over my selection. Fair enough. But when I’m on a chocolate binge, I can’t help it if some of those candy bars accidentally find a home in my face.Lucky for all three of them, I’m not a threat to their candy this year. They have a great haul this year. I helped my daughter sort her candy, and there was almost no “I’m not eating that” candy. It’s a big year for Skittles, but Snickers and M&M’s are well represented this year, as always. But I don’t want any of it. I’m backing off. The sweet tooth is out of commission, so the candy is theirs.I applaud their preparation though!Wasn't that well-written and fun to read? You should subscribe to my blog and we'll send you an e-mail every time I write a new one. Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
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