There are few things I know less about than symphony orchestra. In fact, in preparation for this blog post I had to look up the meaning of each of those words. I’m that dumb, music-wise.And before I go any further, in case you’re a music dummy as well, a symphony is an extended musical composition, and an orchestra is the group of musicians playing the symphony. I guess I knew what both of those words meant, but I didn’t feel confident enough to write about them.Anyway, my oldest son decided he wanted to begin playing viola this year. He’s in middle school now, and despite my skepticism about his commitment, he’s done well and likes it.The other day his orchestra teacher sent a text saying that the Valparaiso University symphony orchestra was offering three free tickets to students for their homecoming concert this past Saturday. Being a symphony orchestra idiot, but the father of an orchestra soon-to-be performer, I figured this was a good chance to dive into it.I’m glad I did!I took my two sons, the violist, and his younger brother. I told them they had to dress up a little because Pokemon t-shirts and basketball shorts didn’t seem quite appropriate for such a sophisticated event. We got our tickets (somehow we were the only people from our school who claimed these free tickets) and found our seats.The concert took place in the university chapel. After we sat down my sons and I shared the same thought: “We have to sit in these chairs for the next 90 minutes?” They seemed to be designed specifically for discomfort, but I just read a news article that referred to them as “an icon of British postwar design.” So apparently I’m an idiot design-wise as well.However, I did know enough to realize that the cushions that hang from the backs of the chairs are for kneeling, not for placing on the seat of the chair, which is something one of the high-schoolers in front of us couldn’t figure out. At least there’s that.For the next ninety minutes I paid close attention to the music, the instruments, the musicians, and my sons. A few observations…First, the conductor. He looked like Bernie Sanders from behind. I’m sure this is just my musical idiocy rearing its ugly face, but does a conductor really do anything? All the musicians have the sheet music in front of them. Why do they need a guy doing sign language for each note? And can they even see him if they’re looking at their sheet music? And what if they’re looking at the sheet music, and then glance up at him, and then look back down, but end up in the wrong place? Seems like it could turn into a real disaster.I couldn’t identify an impressive looking instrument in the back, so I looked it up on my phone and found out it was a bassoon. Someone was really thinking when they invented that!Someone played the triangle! I thought to myself, “Oh, that person must suck at everything else so they threw her on the triangle.” I mean, how hard could it be? But then I decided that the difficulty of the triangle is knowing the precise moment to play it. Song song song song hit the triangle song song song. How do they know when to do that? Impressive.A harp was there, too. Just for the first song. How does anyone learn to play the harp? My song brings his viola to school everyday, and then brings it home so he can practice at night. He couldn’t do that with a harp. Here’s to portable instruments.
An alumni of the university joined the orchestra for one song. She played a super long solo and had no sheet music in front of her. And the conductor just stood their watching her. That seemed awesome.I think her husband was sitting in the row in front of us. He clapped overly enthusiastically when she walked on stage, sat on the edge of his seat as she played, and then looked around the room as everyone applauded, as if trying to decide whether to rise and begin a standing ovation. He didn’t, but he looked pleased.During one number all the cellists and bassists were playing in complete unison and I watched their fingers maniacally moving this way and that as they played each note in a particularly furious section of the song. It was like synchronized swimming, but on a scale both much smaller (just fingers) and much larger (at least a dozen musicians).Near the end one of the musicians played an upright drum that had a cymbal attached to it, and then he hit it with another cymbal. This seemed like some sort of homemade contraption, but it sounded great.As we left the chapel I asked my sons what they thought of the concert. My older son loved it and said he wants to go to another symphony orchestra. My younger son said it was okay, but the songs were too long. “How many times do we have to hear wah-wah, wuh-wuh, wah-wah, wuh-wuh?” as he imitated the sound of violas.I’m no less dumb about music than I was before the concert, but new experiences are always great. And sharing it with my sons only made it better.But I don’t care what anyone says: those chairs suck.***Update: My orchestra son reminds me that we went to a symphony last summer. Pokemon Symphonic Evolutions played at the Chicago Theatre and we were there. Too much excitement over Pikachus and Bulbasaurs to remember the symphony though, apparently.Enter your e-mail address below and we'll send new Dry it in the Water posts directly to your inbox!
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