In case you don’t have the Facebook or the Twitter or the Tumbler or anything else that might be connected to a computer, or you haven’t talked to another human being in the last twenty-four hours, or you haven’t heard raised voices in the distance as people “discuss” their opinions, you can read about The Dress controversy/ debate/ issue/ throwdown here.Just for the record, I see white and gold. However, I sometimes have trouble distinguishing between reds and oranges and greens and blues so maybe I’m not the best source.
(My wife and I have had a long-term disagreement about our kitchen counter in fact. I’m 100% sure it’s green. She says it’s blue. The amazing thing is that we lived in our house for about six years before I even knew we disagreed on the color!)We could go back and forth on the color question all day. But really, how interesting is it to read:“It’s black and blue!”“No, it’s white and gold”“Are you on acid right now? How can you say it’s white and gold.”Blah, blah, blah.There are some things to think about though.--The big winner in all of this is the retina. I mean other than optometrists and the like, who knows anything about the retina? Sure it’s part of the eye, but is it in the front or the middle or the back? Is it the colored part? The white part? It’s not the black part because everyone knows that’s the pupil. Whatever the case, the retina had a good day.--Rods and cones. I can’t believe that those are the actual names of the photoreceptor cells in the retina. Shouldn’t they be called something more scientific? I’m pretty sure we used the terms rods and cones to describe body parts in middle school, but we were talking about entirely different parts of the male and female anatomy.--If some people see the dress differently, can the poor sap that incorrectly answers his wife’s question, “Does this dress make me look fat?” claim that he just sees the dress differently than everyone else in the world?--Has this dress become more famous than Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress?--Is anyone ever going to buy this dress? I mean it might be cool to have, but if a woman buys it she’s pretty much guaranteeing that she’ll have to listen to the “What color is it?” debate the entire time she wears it. Forever. And if you thought it was annoying to see the dress coming up non-stop on your Facebook feed, imagine how annoyed you’d be if you had to have that discussion with every person you encountered.I bet it wouldn’t be long before the dress had splatters of red on it from the pummeling you’d hand out when you reached your breaking point.--FREAKOUT! I’m a white and gold guy. However, I’ve been staring at this black and white screen in Word for the past twenty minutes or so, and when I went back to check on the dress in the CNN story, it’s blue and black. So either CNN is messing with me, someone switched my rods and cones with another person, or perceptions can change.I really hope no one switched my rods and cones. I’d grown attached to them.--I’m no fashion expert, so maybe this doesn’t even make sense, but I bet this is a ploy by a shoe company to increase sales. Some lady buys the dress. She buys some shoes to go with it. But then she thinks, “Oh shit, what if it looks like a different color when I get it home?” And then she buys another pair of shoes to match the other color of the dress.Genius.--Maybe this is why the sky looks different colors as the sun rises and sets, too. The “scientists” tell us it has to do with the way light refracts through the atmosphere as the sun changes angles. But why should we believe them? They faked the moon landing. I bet it’s really God’s way of saying, “Don’t believe everything you see.”--I now have an excuse for when I dress myself and realize two hours later that I don’t match. What relief!I just checked again. That sucker’s still blue and black.Do my eyes even work?PREVIOUS POST: My Life at 100 Years OldIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: Meeting the Future Me+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Hey, did you like reading this? If so, you should Share it on Facebook so you can bring joy to others. You can also find tons of other posts by me here. And you can like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes. Please.
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