In case you missed it, there was huge news in the cereal world yesterday. And as an endlessly faithful reader of this blog, you know that I love cereal.However, the return of French Toast Crunch gets a big eye roll from me. Who cares? If you’re looking for a crunchy cereal that’s coated in cinnamon and will destroy the roof of your mouth if you’re not careful, you need look no further than Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which has always been available. They’re essentially the same cereal, except that French Toast Crunch has “syrup” in addition to its cinnamon.Oh, and the individual pieces are thicker, in case Cinnamon Toast Crunch doesn’t sufficiently scar the roof of your mouth as you eat it.And really, is Cinnamon Toast Crunch even different from Golden Grahams? General Mills is trying to pull one over on us, and I’m not falling for it, damnit!Talk to me when Post decides to give Fred Flintstone’s trusty pet his due respect and brings back Dino Pebbles!Reading about the nostalgia some people have toward French Toast Crunch did remind me of my own nostalgic longings for a particular food. Or put more accurately, a particular way of preparing food.I’m talking about the U-gouge.No, that’s not some fancy new iPhone app that teaches you how to effectively poke someone in the eye. It’s the way that Subway used to cut their bread.What’s that you say? You didn’t know that Subway changed the way they cut their bread? Oh, my poor, dear, non-bread-obsessed reader. Let me explain.Back when the first Subway sandwich shop hit my hometown—maybe twenty years or so ago (all their napkins still had “5,000 stores by 1994” still printed on them, and today they have 43,000 stores)—I immediately went nuts for it. Back then the Cold Cut Combo was my sandwich of choice. Since then my preferences have changed to the Sub Club, then to turkey, and now to the perfect Veggie Delite.Part of the allure of Subway is the bread. It’s soft, flavorful, and fresh, and I’d eat an entire loaf of Italian Herb and Cheese every day if I could. However, 500 of the 650 calories of my Veggie Delite come from the bread, so I probably shouldn’t.Anyway, part of Subway’s genius was in the way they cut their bread. If you don’t want to click on that link then I’ll explain. The U-gouge required the sandwich artist to begin at one end of the bread, carefully glide the knife along the top of the loaf to the other end, then follow a U shape along the end of the bread, and cut back along the top, to the other end, where a final U-shaped cut brought the knife back to where it began.This ingenious cut served two functions. First, it provided a sort of channel for all of the ingredients to rest in. So when you put down the cheese and the meat and the veggies none of the goodness slipped out of the bread. Second, it created a narrower top piece of bread that rested on top of the ingredients and somehow seemed to taste even better than the rest of the loaf.And then, sometime around 2001, they went and ruined it.Now they use the boring hinge cut. This is the basic cut that any yahoo making a sandwich in a long loaf of bread would use. It’s the way hot dog buns are cut, except maybe with the bread distributed more evenly between the top and the bottom.It lacks imagination, but more importantly, it allows ingredients to fall out during consumption. And even though I make sure not to throw the wrapper away without first gobbling every last bit of produce that might have fallen out of the wrapper, I don’t think every sandwich eater is as voracious as me, which means a bunch of food is being thrown away simply because it fell out of the sandwich.Shortly after they did away with the U-gouge, some sandwich artists could still pull off the difficult cut, or so I hear. I never actually asked. But now most of the people who are making my sandwiches were two years old when Subway dissed the U-gouge, so they probably don’t have any idea how to do it effectively.That actually might have been part of the U-gouge’s downfall. If done incorrectly, the cut can leave a gargantuan bottom piece, a string-like top piece, and a gouge much too small to fit the cornucopia of delicious ingredients.But still, that calls for sandwich artists with better knife skills, not getting rid of the U-gouge all together.Oh well, I’m sure my objections will fall on deaf ears. Subway has probably forgotten all about the U-gouge. And the change hasn’t decreased the frequency of my Subway patronage, so I guess they have no reason to listen to me.However, if you are listening, Subway, it’s time to do away with the ovens. A toasted Subway sandwich is an abomination!PREVIOUS POST: Pantone Chose Marsala as the Color of the Year, so I made Other ChoicesIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: How did I Become a Beer Snob?+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Hey, did you like reading this? If so, you should Share it on Facebook so you can bring joy to others. You can also find tons of other posts baked up fresh by me here. 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