I like celebrations. Whenever an interesting “National Something Day” arises, we try to do a little something to celebrate the day. Monday is National Cheeseburger Day, so cheeseburgers for dinner. (Not to be confused with National Double Cheeseburger Day, which is also today.)There’s always some National Day celebration, and even if it’s just silliness, or a way to promote a particular product, it’s fun to take part. Not that I’m saving my ice cream cone consumption for National Ice Cream Cone Day (September 22).The silly innocence of the celebration is part of the experience. And it’s the usual innocence associated with these days that makes me wonder who the hell thought National Hug Your Boss Day was a good idea.Yes, today, September 15, is National Hug Your Boss Day. Why would someone design such a day? Was National Take a Bath With Your Toaster Day already taken? On the list of bad ideas, those two days are neck-and-neck.A little research reveals that a website called tiptopjob.com came up with the idea for National Hug Your Boss Day. They hope to “actively promote healthy working relationships.” Because nothing says “healthy working relationships” like hugging your boss.Perhaps this is Tiptopjob’s way of getting more job postings on their website. When employees are fired for hugging a boss who doesn’t want to be hugged, or a boss is fired by a bigger boss for hugging an employee who doesn’t want to be hugged, then they can post these available jobs on tiptopjob.com. Solid plan.There are only a few outcomes from hugging your boss. Most of them aren’t good.Best-case scenario is that you tell your boss that it’s National Hug Your Boss Day, your boss appreciates your eccentricity, gives you a hug, and keeps you in mind for the next promotion because you think outside the box.That scenario will not happen.Next-best-case scenario is that your boss looks at you askance, deems you idiotic, but harmless, and continues with his or her day, with one eye looking back, just to be sure that you’re not stupid enough to try an ambush hug.That scenario is the most-likely not-negative scenario.Another possibility is that your boss considers your hug offer, decides that you have horrendous judgment and a complete inability to recognize boundaries, and that you’ve gone about as far as you can go with the company. In fact, perhaps you’ve gone a little too far. If HR can find a suitable replacement on tiptopjob.com, you can expect a demotion.Don’t complain. You should have known better.An even worse possibility is that your boss is sensitive to work place impropriety, and feels your suggestion of an embrace is inconsistent with established workplace values, and fires you on the spot. “But I just wanted to give you a hug,” you’ll say.“Do I look like I wanted a hug from you?” your boss will ask. And then the ridiculousness of your actions will become clear. As you clean out your desk, you wonder if there’s anyone there who will give you a hug, because you sure need one.The worst scenario occurs if your boss is receptive to your hug. Perhaps he’s too receptive. He infers unintended meaning from your hug. If he’s the right kind of creep (for instance, if he’s the guy who owns the Miss USA pageant, and you’re a contestant) then things become uncomfortable for you. From there it can go in a thousand directions, none of them good.Thousands of people have to deal with that exact type of situation, independent of National Hug Your Boss Day. And even though I joked about the other scenarios, there’s no joke about this one.So I think it’s best to keep your hands to yourself at work. Let your boss get hugs outside of the office, or at least from someone other than you.And if your boss brings up National Hug Your Boss Day and asks for a hug, you should decline, and remind him that September 20 is National Punch Day, and even though it’s intended as a day to celebrate punch the drink, you’re free to interpret it as you see fit.Whatever you do, just don’t forget National Ice Cream Cone Day.Wasn't that well-written and fun to read? You should subscribe to my blog and we'll send you an e-mail every time I write a new one. Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
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