Just for the record, I hate the Mets. And this has nothing to do with the ass-whooping that they’ve dished out to the Cubs in the last three games. (None of the games have been as close as the scores would indicate.) No, this hatred has a 29-year history. It has waxed and waned during that time.It’s waxing right now.In 1986 I was eight years old. The Mets played the Red Sox in the World Series. My baseball fandom was still in its infancy. I watched the World Series the year before and cheered as the Royals beat those bastards from St. Louis, and I’ve rooted for the Royals ever since.But 1986 was a watershed year. It was the year I developed baseball-related hatred.And holy shit, there was so much to hate about those 1986 Mets. There was the way Doc Gooden dominated the Cubs, my favorite team. The way Gary Carter—God rest his soul—used to tilt his head and look up at hitters to make sure they weren’t stealing signs. There was Lenny Dykstra with the ever-present chewing tobacco in his cheek. There was Mookie Wilson whose name is Mookie.And Ray Knight. God, how I hate Ray Knight. I hated him when he played for the Mets, and I hated him years later when he managed the Reds, and I hated him when he was a commentator on Baseball Tonight.Ray Knight is the devil.
Don't get me started on that stupid big red Mets apple that used to light up every time they hit a homerun.The problem with my Mets hatred back in 1986 was that my grandparents lived in New York. My mom grew up in New York, and my grandparents lived in Queens, which is where the Mets play.I vividly recall talking to my grandma on the phone during the 1986 World Series and her asking me if I was rooting for the Mets or the Red Sox. I told her I was rooting for the Red Sox, and she told me she was rooting for the Mets, and I thought, “How can my grandma be rooting for the Mets? I didn’t know she was evil!”Turns out, my grandma wasn’t evil. She was just a Mets fan. Much to my surprise, the two aren’t synonymous. No one wants to think of their grandma as evil.The 1986 World Series was extra cruel. During Game 6 it appeared as though the Red Sox were going to win the World Series. At least twice they had the Mets down to their last strike. But those assholes came out victorious, with the King Asshole, Ray Knight, scoring the winning run for the Mets.Then the Mets won the next game and the World Series. And eight-year-old Brett cried in his bed. I remember lying there in the dark, crying. Fucking Mets!The Mets haven’t won a World Series since then. I cheered when they lost to the Dodgers in the playoffs in 1988, and when they had bad years after that. I’m somewhat ashamed to say that I didn't feel bad when Dwight Gooden had problems with cocaine, and Darryl Strawberry had problems with alcohol.I was a teenager, give me a break.These days I actually own a Mets shirt. My mom bought it for me a few years ago. It commemorates Shea Stadium’s final year, and I wear it from time-to-time. It’s been easy to wear because the Mets have sucked the past few years. Now that they’re good and they’re beating the shit out of the Cubs, I sort of want to burn it.But I won’t.This new breed of Mets aren’t quite as hate-able as the Mets of my youth. They’re not so dominant. But I loathe Daniel Murphy, and David Wright, and Jeurys Familia. Loathe with a capital L.Still, they’re not as bad as Wally Backman, Tim Teufel, Keith Hernandez, Sid Fernandez, Jesse Orosco, and the rest of those 1986 assholes. I don’t understand how anyone can be a Mets fan though. My grandma wasn’t evil, but I’m not sure about the rest of them.It won’t surprise me if the Mets win game 4 and sweep the Cubs. I haven’t been too excited about any of this Cubs playoff mumbo jumbo because I’ve been a Cubs fan all my life. I’ve come to expect disappointment.But losing to the Mets seems extra cruel. Like extra salt in the wound, just for me.I hope the Royals—or less likely, the Blue Jays—kick the shit out of the Mets in the World Series. Maybe then eight-year-old Brett will feel some tiny bit of satisfaction.To quote a 1980s commercial, what the hell is a Met anyway?PREVIOUS POST: Fuck Your GunsIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: What I Believe, Crash Davis Style+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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