Calvin Coolidge, who was president in the 1920s, was famous for being a man of few words. During a party, a woman greeted him and said, “You must talk to me, Mr. President. I made a bet today that I could get more than two words out of you.” Coolidge, earning the first four letters of his name, replied, “You lose!”I’ve often thought Coolidge was a twerp of a president, but I do admire his ability to keep his mouth shut. I think it’s a lost art, and one that’s almost always beneficial to the person who perfects it.That old saying, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease,” might be true, but it’s also just as likely that the grease will be applied to the jaw by a clenched fist. Wheels don’t have jaws, but you know what I mean.I’m a naturally quiet person. It’s a trait that can be annoying at times, I suppose. My wife frequently spends her days talking to children and idiots. By the time I get home she’s ready to have a good conversation, and if I’m especially quiet, I can see why she’d want to stab me.But most of the time, silence is golden.I read an article once in which Neil Young was talking about playing with Pearl Jam, and he said that what makes Pearl Jam great is that they know when not to play. There are moments in certain songs during which a brief pause—silence—is what’s called for. Lesser bands might try to fill every single second of a song with music. It takes a talented, confident band to allow silence.And think about Morse code. It’s the silence that allows it to exist. Only when the dots and dashes are interrupted by quiet do they make any sense.So if silence is so beneficial, why do so many people have so much trouble perfecting it?Perhaps it has something to do with the way we communicate. From the very earliest stages of our life, we’re taught to speak if we want something. “Use your words,” we hear.(Incidentally, something about that phrase bugs the shit out of me. I’m not sure what it is. Maybe it’s the “your words” part. As if that kid has invented words all his own. If that’s the case, great. But here’s a newsflash, kid, your words are useless if no one else understands them.)In school the kid who talks all day gets more attention than the kid who says nothing. When we’re at a sporting event and something happens that we like, we cheer loudly. When two people have problems they’re urged to talk it over.But who’s on the side of silence? Librarians?Great, let’s have 70,000 rabid football fans advocating one point-of-view, and a little old shushing, cat lady librarian advocating another and see who’s more convincing! No wonder the “blah, blah, blah” of background chatter never ceases.So what do we do about it?
Well, the good news is, this is a problem you can help solve. It may take some getting used to, since we’re constantly being bombarded with the belief that we must always be connected, and we carry around devices that allow us to be connected. And if we’re connected, then we’re probably not being silent. But in order to be silent, all you have to do is shut the hell up.Try it sometime. Just try not talking. Don’t speak. It’s not a crime for your voice’s sound waves to be absent from a room. Your ears will still work even if you’re not the one making the sound. Chances are, whatever you have to say can probably be summed up in three words anyway: blah, blah, blah.Do yourself and everyone around you a favor and just try not talking. No small talk, no gossip, no empty philosophizing, no “here’s what I think,” no filling the air with meaningless, useless sound.In short, shut up!You’ll be surprised that the world doesn’t end because you temporarily stopped voicing your opinion on every single thing. Your voice will be glad for the break. Your ears will enjoy not having to ignore that endless river of drivel you spew forth.And if you’re lucky, you might even learn something!PREVIOUS POST: It's Good to be the IncumbentIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: Apparently I Have Resting Bitch Face+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++