I’m here to remind you that Christmas is one week from tomorrow. Surprisingly, no retail stores have decided to open on Christmas yet, so that means that after today you’ve only got seven days to select that perfect gift.And if you want to buy something online, you have even fewer days than that to buy a gift and have it shipped to you.I’m not worried about how quickly Christmas is approaching. I’m not going to be one of those people featured on the six o’clock news on Christmas Eve talking about how I need to pickup a few more gifts. Nope. I’m all done.Don’t hate me ‘cause you ain’t me.The reason I’m already done with my shopping is because I’m married to an angel. Well, in this case I guess she’s more like an elf. But it doesn’t really feel as great to say that I’m married to an elf. That’s sort of weird, isn’t it? Unless you’re into curly, pointed-toe shoes, then maybe it’s not so weird.Anyway, if it weren’t for my wife, Christmas around the Dry it in the Water household would be vastly different. Every year she has things under control though, so I don’t have to worry about it.And trust me, it’d be a big worry. We’ve got four kids. And even though Santa Claus comes through with some pretty awesome stuff, we always like to supplement with some gifts of our own. It lets us have fun giving gifts to the kids, and it frees up Santa’s resources to help those families in need.But in our house, as in most houses, fun isn’t evenly distributed. On Christmas morning I’ll watch the kids open their presents, and they’ll come to items that say they’re from Mom and Dad and I’ll get to see the joy on their faces. And I didn’t have to do anything to experience that joy.
On the other hand, my wife went through the entire gift-giving process, which any mother knows goes something like this:1. Tell kids to think about their Christmas lists.2. Convince kids to actually write down their Christmas lists.3. Decipher the inherent ambiguity and poor penmanship on every kid’s list to figure out what they’re really asking for.4. Divide the list among grandmas, aunts, and cousins so the kid gets what he or she wants without telling Aunt Edna on Christmas night, “But I just got one of these this morning.”5. Consider which items Santa might bring.6. Monitor a month’s worth of ads so she’s ready to pounce as soon as that new Wii game goes on sale.7. Battle drivers who somehow can be just as dangerous in a parking lot as they are on a road.8. Wait in a long line before paying while juggling Kohl’s cash, 30% off coupons, Old Navy Super Cash, Target’s REDcard discount, or whatever god-awful shenanigans retail stores force consumers into instead of just giving them a simple sale price.9. Return that Batman T-shirt she bought online that’s going to fit more like it’s 3T instead of a kids medium.10. Decide whether the girl who said she no longer wants a Little Mermaid sleeping bag really doesn’t want it, or is just being difficult.11. And finally, try to find a happy medium on Christmas Eve between, “Do we have enough?” and “Why did we buy so much?”Doesn’t that just sound lovely?I like to think that I’m a pretty good dad. I spend time with the kids, I play with them, I read to them, I talk to them, I listen to them. But when it comes to buying presents for them, I’m a complete failure. If gift-giving were left to me, they’d have whatever Santa brought for them, and anything I could find at Walgreen’s on Christmas Eve.True, I’m usually pretty good at buying books, but even the most studious kid is going to want something other than books for Christmas.Thank goodness they have a mother!I suspect that I’m not alone in my gift-giving impotence. Most mothers probably handle the supplemental Christmas shopping in their families. I’m a big believer in dads helping in roles usually reserved for moms, but when it comes to purchasing Christmas gifts, I’m just not up to the task.My kids will undoubtedly be excited about the presents they receive next week. If we’re doing our job right, they’ll appreciate the presents, too. But as much as they appreciate the presents, they probably don’t appreciate them as much as I appreciate the effort my wife puts forth to get those presents.At least I’m a pretty good wrapper!PREVIOUS POST: Go Girl, You Can Pee Standing Up!IF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: Some Things Cooler Than Black Friday+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Hey, did you like reading this? If so, you should Share it on Facebook so you can bring joy to others. You can read more stuff like this here. And you can like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes. Please.
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