The World Series starts tonight. In a town where each of our baseball teams finished seventeen games out of first place, that doesn’t mean too much. But to Kansas City, whose Royals are in the World Series for the first time since 1985, it’s a big deal.And in San Francisco, whose Giants are making their third World Series appearance in five years, it’s a big deal as well. In fact, it’s such a big deal that radio stations have reinstituted that time-honored idiocy: the song ban.Usually song bans are reserved for very “serious” situations. You’ll remember that the Dixie Chicks were banned from some country stations for saying bad things about George W. Bush, and Pearl Jam also felt the banning fire after a concert in which the lead singer “impaled” a Bush mask on a microphone stand.This liberal would think that in a city of fellow liberals like San Francisco, any sort of censorship would be frowned upon. But there’s only one thing more important than freedom of expression, and that’s the World Series.So in solidarity with the Giants, a couple of radio stations have banned the song Royals by Lorde from being played for the duration of the Series.If I was the Giants, I’d be mighty worried about this. Apparently their fans think that the team is so fragile that even the mere mention of the opponent’s name will tank the chances for the Giants to prevail.No word on whether San Franciscans hope to ban other Royal references like the Royal Family, Crown Royal, Royal Crown, or Wes Anderson’s film The Royal Tenenbaums. The NBA’s Sacramento Kings are doubly deserving of a ban, despite their proximity to the Bay Area. Not only does their current name contain the stench of royalty, they used to be known as the Royals when they played in Cincinnati back in the sixties. Call it the six degrees of royalness.These bans are unlikely though. Apparently Lorde’s song has a stronger connection with the Kansas City baseball team than just the title. If you believe Lorde—and who wouldn’t because it’s not like musicians would lie about something just because it makes a good story—the seed for the song was planted when she saw a picture of former Royals player George Brett signing autographs. He was still in uniform and the word Royals, written in blue cursive script across his chest, just looked “really cool.”Sometimes that’s all it takes for a writer or a musician to create something, and Lorde—who won’t turn eighteen until next month!—created a solid, mega-hit song.For a baseball fan it’s incredibly exciting that the Royals, who have royally sucked for most of the previous twenty-nine years, are having a miraculous reemergence this year. And I’m sure Lorde doesn’t mind the extra publicity for her song because of it. She even got to meet George Brett earlier this year.However, there’s one thing we shouldn’t forget about that old photo. Sure the word Royals on the front might have inspired a musician and helped to create a memorable song, but let’s not forget the name on the back of the jersey.
Yep, Brett!Now I’ll give you a minute to scroll to the top of the page and see the name of the person who’s writing this post.Coincidence?So look out, because now I’m feeling inspired!In retrospect, I should be happy that the photographer chose that angle from which to shoot his picture that day. Had he chosen a different angle he might have caught the back of the jersey, and Lorde might have seen it and been inspired to write a song called Brett, and people would be banned from reading anything I wrote.Maybe not, too.Anyway, I doubt Royals the song will have much of an influence on Royals the team. And San Francisco’s stupid radio ban won’t have an impact either. In fact, I think San Francisco’s worry is entirely misplaced. They’re focusing on the title, when they should be focusing on the artist.I mean if the Lord is for the Royals, what hope do the Giants have?I’m picking the Royals in a sweep.But if they fall behind, then the band They Might Be Giants better not expect any airplay in KC.
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