My youngest son turns eleven years old today. I’m not sure how that happened. I suspect it’s because eleven years have passed since his birth, but it sure doesn’t seem like it. Time is on hyperdrive. It sucks.But regardless of what I think, time’s not going to slow down. I spent the evening at a bar and grill watching the Cubs game with him, and at one point he suggested that we move to the bar. I told him that maybe we could do that in ten years, and I got suddenly sad because I realized that ten years will pass in a few minutes.Between now and then we’ve got some things to do. He’s only eleven years old, and even though he’s so damn smart, there are still things that he doesn’t know. So now that he’s eleven here are eleven things that I need to teach him, in no particular order.1. How to ride a bike no-handed. The kid picked up bike riding skills rather quickly, and he’s very enthusiastic about it, so the next big thing is to figure out how to do it with no hands. I didn’t learn how to do so until I was eighteen or nineteen years old, and it made my year, so if he learns how to do it when he’s eleven I’m sure nothing else will matter. Unfortunately, I’m not really sure how to teach him. “Let go and keep your balance.” That’s it, isn’t it?2. It doesn’t matter how well he plays basketball. Seriously, the entire game is trying to throw a ball through a circle. I mean it’s sort of a glorified Grand Prize Game, is it not? Yet he gets so frustrated when he doesn’t make shots. And he doesn’t even have Bozo feeding the ball to him.3. He doesn’t have to hate every player not on the Cubs. I remember how much hatred I had for Doc Gooden, and Will Clark, and Zane Smith, and every other player who ever did well against the Cubs. I wish I could explain to my son that someday you’ll just appreciate how well those players played the game, and that three-run homer against the Cubs isn’t the end of the world, no matter how much it may seem like it.4. Read John Steinbeck. He's a great reader. He's very empathic. John Steinbeck is the perfect author for him, and even though he's a little young, I think it's time.5. R.E.M. is a great band. The kid absorbs whatever music I throw at him. Johnny Cash, Jack White, Rolling Stones, Catfish and the Bottleman. He’ll listen to anything. I’ve only scratched the surface with R.E.M. though, and he needs to know more.6. Everything he creates has value. Original thought is hard to come by. He makes me laugh on a daily basis, and it’s always a result of some original thought in his brain. Copying others, or mimicking what works for them might make him successful, but he’ll do best when he’s using his own brain.7. Enjoy the cicadas. Every summer I drill into my kids' heads that cicadas are the sound of summer. But I want him to understand that it's not about the insects, or the season, but the temporariness of everything.8. Tomatoes are better than pop tarts. He’s the most adventurous eater of all of my kids. But every kid could use a reminder of what’s healthy and what’s not. He doesn’t buy his own food, so this should be a relatively easy lesson to teach.9. Although he gets almost all A's in elementary school, it’s not life or death. Someday he may struggle and we'll act like it's a big deal. It's not. There's plenty of time to improve.10. He’s only eleven once. It’s easy to want to rush things, like driving, getting a job, having a sip of my beer. That’ll all come quick enough. Best to slow down, enjoy being eleven.11. I love him. He’ll never understand how much. No kid ever will until they have kids of their own. But I’ll be damned if I won’t do my best to express it to him.So that’s it. We’ve got a busy year ahead of us. I can’t wait to get started!Wasn't that well-written and fun to read? You should subscribe to my blog and we'll send you an e-mail every time I write a new one. Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
IF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: How My Son Learned That Being a Sports Fan Usually Ends in DisappointmentPREVIOUS POST: Doofenshmirtz and I Spend the Day Together